Can Gratitude Improve Your Relationship

Happy couples tend to express gratitude for each other and gratitude for being together. How are you doing in this department? Do you feel lucky to be together? Focusing on the things that you are grateful for about your partner and about your relationship adds positive energy to your relationship.

Make a conscious effort to spend more time talking about the good things in your relationship. Try to eliminate complaining about your problems. Complaining does not solve problems. Smile at each other, look each other in the eye and share with each other the reasons that you feel blessed to be together.

Practicing gratitude and adopting a positive focus does not mean that you ignore or never talk about the issues. But interestingly, focusing on the positive in your relationship, may help you face the difficult topics in a more helpful way. Research on couples indicates that people who took time to express gratitude for their partner not only felt more positive toward the their partner but also felt more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship.

Research demonstrates that both the giver and the receiver benefit from generosity and gratitude. It seems that expressing gratitude is linked to the release of oxytocin, the bonding chemical in our brain. Which may explain why studies indicate that participants giving and receiving thanks felt more loving and caring towards each other. 

Being specific about what you appreciate and how it has benefited you, makes a thank you more meaningful to your partner. You are letting your partner know what a great job they did of meeting your needs or helping you out. It makes the gratitude sound more heart felt.

As an experiment try the following: 

Each morning when you first wake up, mentally list and picture in your mind at least five things that you are grateful about your partner and your relationship. Each night before you sleep, do the same. Invite that feeling of gratitude each morning and night for at least 30 days. Pay attention and notice how you feel when you are visualizing and making your gratitude list. Notice how you feel during the day. Notice how you interact with your partner.

The beauty of an experiment is that you cannot fail. The purpose of an experiment is to gather information. What do you learn from completing this experiment? Is this something worth continuing?

Focusing on gratitude helps us feel better about our lives, more optimistic and enjoy being together compared to times when we are solely focused on ongoing irritations.