Finding Inner Peace
We can learn to find peace even in the most trying times. We will find peace elusive when we try to achieve it by arranging people or things outside of ourselves. When we have peace and calm in our hearts, when we are at peace with ourselves, we will have the reserves we need to make peace in our lives. Peace is an inside job, but a Life Coach can make a helpful guide.
“There was once a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them.
One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was perfect mirror for peaceful towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.
The other picture had mountains, too. But, these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But, when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest - - in perfect peace.
Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second one. “because” said the king, “Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in you heart.”
Our lives tend to be busy and hectic and at times can feel overwhelming. We may wish to get away to some stress-free place where we can find the peace we desperately need. But get-aways provide only temporary relief and we sometimes take our stress with us. However, it is possible to become more like the bird in the King’s painting—creating peace amid busyness and stress.
We usually start as children with a sense of wonder and joy. However, as we grow, we all have some experiences that make the world seem less safe. We feel fear, pain, and rejection. We find ourselves trying to fit in and be accepted. We stop listening to and honoring our inner sense of who we are and force ourselves to become who we should be. These damaging jolts lead to increased stress, anxiety, depression, and a feeling of disconnection from those around us.
Many people find that following the shoulds in life leads them to success, but they still feel like something is missing. They have achieved all their goals and wonder why they still feel unhappy. However, true peace and happiness is an inside job. It does not come with a promotion, a new house, or more incredible adventures.
A Life Coach can help you on your journey toward inner peace. It begins with gratitude for where you are, with an understanding of where you are currently and where you want to be. It means learning to find joy in the journey rather than thinking that happiness will come after I get the next thing that is missing. You can learn to celebrate the good in your life and, at the same time, work through the struggles. Success in life is a journey, not a destination.
Align with your values. Life will always be a struggle if our thoughts and behavior run contrary to our deepest values. Sometimes we compromise our values to fit in or be accepted, but we will pay the price emotionally for those choices. Living true to our values provides a sense of contentment.
Learn to set and maintain healthy boundaries. We need boundaries to protect our time and relationships. Learning to say ‘no’ without guilt is an essential skill. Practicing saying ‘no’ to our own self-destructive choices is the beginning of peace.
Practice self-acceptance and self-love. Some people mistakenly believe that hating parts of themselves will motivate them to improve. However, it is acceptance and self-love that give us the impetus to grow and move forward.
Declutter your space. Removing the clutter from our physical space helps to create a greater sense of calm. Creating a regular routine of getting rid of clutter and putting things back where they belong can contribute to a peaceful environment.
Practice accepting and letting go. Accepting what cannot be changed and letting go of resentments can lead to greater contentment and peace. As a wise man once said, we must let go of wanting a better past to have the future we desire.
Be careful of assumptions. We often spend too much time worrying about what others think of us. Learning to clarify with others rather than assuming can improve our communications. Checking our assumptions with others may feel challenging at first, but in time will lead to increased peace.
Be true to yourself. Practicing taking your feelings and wants into account can help you be true to yourself. Too often, we focus solely on pleasing others and abdicate our responsibility to ourselves.
Create purpose. Goals can help us clarify and move toward our purpose. Conversely, a purposeless life feels unsettled and can increase anxiety and depression.
Take action. Avoiding or delaying action increases our stress immensely. Learning to be more decisive and action-oriented helps us release that pent-up stress.
Adopt an optimistic worldview. Our human tendency is to focus on what is or could go wrong. We tend to pay more attention to our fears and problems than to the potential or actual positives. Intentional focus on gratitude and the good surrounding us will help us find peace.
Start fresh each day. Set your intention to wake up each day in gratitude. Plan to have a great day. Today is a new day.
Do you wish your life was one of contentment and inner peace, but don’t quite know how to get there? A life coach can walk with you on that journey.