3 A's for a Happier Relationship

Developing relationship-enhancing habits is an excellent way to protect it from deteriorating. The three A's for increasing relationship happiness include expressing appreciation, admiration, and affection. Consistency in conveying these will increase your individual and your relationship happiness. In addition, these habits will infuse your relationship with positive energy and help fortify it against the frustrations and problems that every relationship encounters.

Appreciation

Cultivating a sense of appreciation in your relationship feels good for both parties. Every day without fail, let your partner know that you appreciate them. Share specific examples of what you appreciate about them or things they have done. Let them know that you admire and respect them. Practice saying thank you. Gratitude feels terrific on the giving and receiving end. Showing your appreciation for what your partner does helps keep you from falling into the relationship destroying habit of taking each other for granted.

We may sometimes think back to the early days of our relationship and wonder what happened. Unfortunately, it is far too easy to fall into expecting and maybe even demanding the things that we used to appreciate. So instead, choose each day to find ways to feel appreciation for something your partner has done more recently.

Admiration

We can build our admiration for each other by focusing on the other's good qualities, talents, and actions. Altogether avoid the temptation to gripe and complain about your partner to others. The more you focus on, talk about and point out your partner's faults, the more reasons you will find to complain. Instead, put your focus on what you like and admire about your partner. You will begin to create an upward rather than a downward spiral in your relationship.

Point out your partner's strengths in positive ways to them and others. Let them know that you are impressed by their talents and abilities. Make a habit of talking positively about your partner when they are not around.

Affection

Aim for at least four six-second hugs a day. Remember that a hug does not equal groping. Frequent non-sexual touch is vital to increasing connection in the relationship. A six-second hug is long enough for you both to relax into the hug and open yourselves up to a feeling of connection. Find ways to remind your partner of your love. Say, text or email, "I love you," frequently. Little kindnesses and acts of service can go a long way toward helping your partner feel that you care. Human beings die, at least on the inside, without loving touch. Find ways to reach out to your partner and express affection.

I hope you will experiment with the three A's for a happier relationship. If you make them a regular part of your relationship, you may enjoy your relationship more fully and find that you can deal with difficulties more effectively. So, be consistent in expressing your appreciation, admiration, and affection.