Accountability is Key to Healing
There is an all too human tendency to become an expert in avoiding responsibility. It can be painful to consider our shortcomings, and it is much easier to look at the flaws in others. The need to heal must come into our awareness before we can begin to heal. We cannot change what we do not acknowledge. Self-awareness starts us on the path to improvement. Accountability helps us walk down that path.
The key to healing is to hold ourselves accountable for our behaviour and our commitments. Accountability means facing the consequences of our choices, words, and behaviour. Accountability means talking to the person we are upset with rather than talking about them. It means being a little more assertive so that we can face up to difficult conversations. It means hanging onto ourselves so that we can choose to act rather than react to circumstances or other people.
We must have a clear idea of how we want to show up in our life, and we let that guide us. We do not allow the choices and behaviours of others to control our responses. Quiet self-reflection helps us to get in touch with our core values. Strengthening this solid sense-of-self enables us to adapt to the ever-changing world in which we live.
Below are some suggestions to help you move toward healing.
Stop Blaming
Without accountability, people struggle to break free from self-sabotaging behaviour. Blame throwing does not lead to healing. It keeps us powerless, waiting for someone or something to change in order for us to be okay. Blaming others keeps us stuck and becomes an obstacle to finding solutions. Even self-blame can be problematic.
Let Go of Resentment
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Focusing on our resentments stops us from taking accountability for our thoughts, choices, and behaviour.
Take Action
Until we do something different, things will remain the same. Mel Robbins points out that within 5 seconds, we can rationalize our way out of taking action. Her 5-second rule can help you move toward what you want in life. Take baby steps if necessary, but do something different.
Live by Core Values
Identify and live by core values. The more our lives align with our core values, the better they will feel to us. Identifying or choosing our core values gives us a compass for our life and helps us move toward healing. There are hundreds of possible values. These are some examples of possible core values: integrity, reliability, loyalty, commitment, open-mindedness, consistency, honesty, and efficiency.
Reach Out for Help
An accountability buddy can help you hold yourself responsible. If necessary, seek professional help.
Steven Covey stated, “People can’t live with change if there’s not a changeless core inside them. The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about and what you value.”
To heal and create the life you want, you must hold yourself accountable for creating the results you want.