Thoughts on Adding Romance to Your Relationship

Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and even though it may have become over-commercialized and pressure-filled, it does provide a reminder of the importance of romance in relationships. Even soul mates need to take care of their relationship so that they do not end up with the 'I love you, but...' syndrome. Maintaining intimacy takes time, thoughtfulness, and positive action. Creating excellent relationship-enhancing habits, like talking respectfully and daily non-sexual touching will help protect your relationship. It is also essential to be thoughtful and creative about spending time together. Romance can blossom when you create a fertile space for it to grow. Accept the challenge to add a little romance to your relationship consistently. Here are some suggestions to consider that may add a touch of romance to your relationship:

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  1. Fill a fantasy jar; draw from it once a week/month

  2. Write a love letter or a poem

  3. Phone your partner and play 'your song'

  4. Run a bath and light candles

  5. Arrange for the kids to go to grandma's for the night and shut off distractions

  6. Look your partner in the eye and give one example of why you love them

  7. Write an I am grateful you came into my life list

  8. Cuddle up and watch a romantic movie together

  9. Pick wildflower for your partner from the side of the road

  10. Bring home your partner's favorite treat or favorite flowers

  11. Play the 'I love you because' game; take turns finishing the sentence

  12. Share winks or toe touches when you are out together

  13. Phone to say 'I love you'

  14. Go to the park and push each other on the swings

  15. Hold hands while you window shop or go for a walk

  16. Watch the sunset or sunrise together

  17. Book a Bed and Breakfast for a romantic weekend

  18. Say nice things about your partner in front of others

  19. Give your partner a foot or neck massage

  20. Cook an elegant meal and dine by candlelight

Mostly remember, when offering romantic gestures to your partner, that doing something that shows you know your partner is the critical part. Do not buy flowers if your partner does not love getting flowers. If your partner loves surprises, find ways to create surprises. Do not plan surprises if your partner hates surprises. Pay attention and find out what feels loving and romantic to your partner, and then do it.

Susan Derry