Does Living Together Help You Prepare for Marriage?
As a counselor, I have heard a variety of scenarios from clients over the years around cohabitation. These scenarios range from meeting at the bar and going home together as the beginning of their cohabitation to dating for several years or marrying before cohabitating.
The majority of couples today taking marriage preparation are already living together. However, some wonder whether a couple who have lived together for years would need marriage preparation. Have they not been practicing being married for a long time?
For decades, study after study has indicated that living together before marriage could reduce a couple's future happiness and eventually lead to divorce. On average, researchers concluded that couples who lived together before they married saw a 33% higher divorce rate than those who waited to live together until after marriage.
Perhaps part of the problem is that those living together before marriage transitioned to marriage with little consideration. Rather than consciously committing to the rest of their lives together, couples who shared a mortgage, pets, furniture, and appliances may have picked marriage over the inconvenience of splitting up.
I have noticed that many couples who have been living together, sometimes for years, have not had the important discussions necessary when deciding to commit to marriage.
Preparing for marriage is a worthwhile investment in your relationship and can help ensure a healthy and successful marriage. Here are some reasons why preparing for marriage is important:
Establish clear expectations for your marriage. Answer questions like: what does being married mean to each of you, and how do you see your roles in marriage?
Develop communication skills. Communication is key in any relationship, and a marriage prep course can help you develop effective communication skills. You'll learn how to express your feelings, listen actively, and work through conflicts in a healthy and productive manner. A surprising number of people who are living together, struggle to communicate effectively.
Strengthen your relationship. Marriage prep courses often involve exercises and activities designed to bring couples closer together. By strengthening your emotional connection and building a solid foundation of trust and respect, you'll be better equipped to handle the challenges of married life.
Overall, a marriage prep course can be a valuable investment in your relationship. It can help you establish clear expectations, develop effective communication skills, strengthen your relationship, as you learn how to navigate important aspects of married life. In addition, marriage preparation can help you explore and make a conscious decision about marriage, whether or not you have lived together before marriage.