Celebrate Success Together
“Whenever I’m disappointed with my spot in my life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott. Jamie was trying out for a part in a school play. His mother told me that he’d set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen. On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement. “Guess what Mom,” he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me: “I’ve been chosen to clap and cheer.” ”
When was the last time you told your partner or loved ones that they were amazing? When did you last tell them that they said something brilliant? Have you ever been guilty of shrugging off something they were excited to share with you?
It requires confidence and maturity to truly join with our partners as they celebrate success. When we have learned to love and accept ourselves, we are far less likely to feel threatened by the good fortunes of others. When we learn to clap and cheer for our partners and recognize that their success in no way diminishes us, we finally double our joy. We become the amplifier of their joy rather than the wet blanket that dampens their moment.
When we let our pride get in the way, we tend to discount our partner's success rather than celebrate with them. We possibly behave this way because we are secretly jealous of their accomplishment. Jealousy is a normal and too common reaction when watching others succeed. Somehow we tend to feel that their success takes something away from us.
Withholding our approval when a loved one succeeds is a passive-aggressive punch to their gut. As a result, we not only hurt our partner, but we also make ourselves smaller.
Learning to soothe our jealous feelings and be more open to celebrating with others benefits us. Improving our ability to enjoy the success of others increases our happiness and helps us connect in meaningful ways. In addition, it can help us get out of our own way. We can become less caught up in comparison and competition and more accepted and likeable. So let's practice catching ourselves and be more willing to take our turn clapping and cheering.
Sincerely celebrate the success of others by:
Increasing Gratitude
It is easier to be happy for others when you feel good about yourself. So start a gratitude journal and record at least three things you are grateful for daily.
Shining a Spotlight
When someone shares their success with you, shine a spotlight on them. Smile and celebrate with them. Then, share their success with others.
Soothing Your Jealousy
Be mindful of how you feel when you let your jealousy get the best of you. Is your jealousy serving you? Chances are it makes you feel miserable. Breathe deep and fake it if you need to at first. Be gracious until you start to feel gracious.
Practicing at Home
Begin by celebrating the successes of those closest to you. Celebrating with those you love will help you get comfortable celebrating others. When it is hard for you to celebrate someone’s success, be mindful of the thoughts that are interfering. You may have some internal work to do to strengthen your sense of self. Go back to step one above.